I've lost half of my everything already

Oh god, Please show me the right path of my life.
I can't stand all this.
I don't know what is right and what is wrong.
I had enough of all the mistakes I've done in life.
Just for ones, I want something to at least goes prefect with no sadness in the end.
Just that.
Moving on was no my choice.
Choosing which is better is not what I want.
Hating I don't want to feel in the story.
Losing my mind is what I'm going through right now.
Ending my life is what I wish to do.
I've lost half of my everything already..My late father
 I dont want to lost anything anymore..
I just want somebody can take care of me like my late father did
handle my anger my ego my crazyness my jealousy
can talk to me even i'm not in mood 
know how stubborn i am
dan sama degil mcm kau
I can't bare to face the hurt and hate in this life.
Just accept the faith and challenge..
already 3 am
 time to sleep

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